Who killed Jack Robins
Posted by
Shrikant
on
Sunday, March 03, 2013
This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 37; the thirty-seventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "Truth is stranger than fiction"
Kartik was sitting in the living room drowsily reading one
of his favorite fantasy fictions.
The door opened with a thundering sound and there was a
cackling laughter and there was a flash of green light. He was momentarily
blinded and then all of his life passed before his eyes in slow motion. Was
this real or a dream or was he dead. He wasn't so sure.
And then the flashing green light swung back into his face.
It was a torch. It illuminated its owner. A person or thing with an
over-elongated face with a stiff lower lip.
"You brainless prat" it said.
Surprised as much he was to this apparition as he was to its
words, his mouth started to speak, but his brain decided it hadn't got anything
to say yet and shut it again. His brain then started to contend with the
problem of what his eyes told it they were looking at, but in doing so
relinquished control of the mouth which promptly fell open again. Once more
gathering up the jaw, his brain lost control of his left hand which then
wandered around in an aimless fashion. For a second or so the brain tried to
catch the left hand without letting go of the mouth and simultaneously tried to
think about what was buried in the ice, which is probably why the legs went and
Kartik dropped restfully to the ground.
And then the apparition did a small dance.. a victory dance
of sorts. "YESS!! I have finally completed insulting 10000 people."
Just then another tall figure entered the room.. and
pointing a rolled up newpaper at the elongated apparition, muttered something
vaguely resembling "A wada keeda wada". There was another flash of
green light as the torch flew out of the apparition's hand and landed on the
floor where Kartik was still sprawled as his brain tried to relinquish its loss
of control over the motor system of his body. About a fraction of a second
later, the torch found its owner lying down beside it - motionless and dead.
The tall figure stepped forward, it was Shonali carrying her
favorite tabloid, which she had just used to kill this over-elongated
apparition who's expiry date had just passed. Shonali was cackling madly,
"I killed Jack Robins"
Kartik's first sensations of hope and trepidation had
instantly been overwhelmed by astonishment, and all sorts of thoughts were
battling for the use of his vocal chords at this moment.
"Whh ...?" he said.
"Bu ... hu ... uh ..." he added.
"Ru ... ra ... wah ... who?" he managed finally to
say and lapsed into a frantic kind of silence. He was feeling the effects of
having not said anything to anybody for as long as he could remember.
"Don't give me that!" snapped Shonali and turned
around to walk out of the half broken door.
"Shonali, wait.. I love you" Kartik exclaimed
wondering whether he had actually said it.
"Kartik you are an idiot, stop talking to yourself on
the phone," and proceeded towards the door.
Just then 2 suited figures blocked Shonali's way. One of
them bent over 'Jack Robins' and said,
"Shaam
ka suraj dhal chuka hai,
shaam ka
suraj dhal chuka hai..
Oh my god
sir, ye to mar chuka hai!"
And the other figure raising a finger, muttered:
Agle Vasant
Mein Yeh Kali Jaroor Khilegi....
Agle Vasant
Mein Yeh Kali Jaroor Khilegi....
Daya, Khuni
Ko Us K Kartutko Ki Saja Jaroor Milegi..!!!!!
"Miss Shonali Mukherji, this is ACP Pradyuman and by
the order of the Ministry of Madtown Midness, you are hereby under arrest for
the murder of Jack Robins"
Both the figures caught Shonali by her arms and marched her
away to their van. Kartik watched all this in his standard crisis management
position - standing motionless with mouth wide open and eyes popping out
letting it (the crisis or anything else that it may turn out to be) wash over
him. But soon he realised, it was the woman he loved.
So he ran,
Like crazy
he ran,
After the
speeding van.
So he ran as
fast as he could,
Hoping his
legs would,
Take him to
the speeding van.
But the van wasn't fast enough and he was gaining on it. And
soon he was within reach. Kartik for no reason whatsoever decided to leap. But
he mis-timed the jump and mis-aimed it as well and fell onto or into or upto
nothingness wherever that was, falling down and down and down and down... and a
little bit more downwards.
And then he stopped falling. There wasn't a sickening crash
or a deafening splash that truncated his fall but a confusing phrrrrrrrrrrr as
if it was a hippopotamus belching away to glory after having eaten to his
heart's and fart's content.
And uske baad.... LAMBIII KHAMOSHI... for a moment nothing
happened and for a minute or two after that nothing continued to happen. And
there it lay...
A long forgotten dusty lamp. Right out of Sindbad the sailor
or was that Aladdin.. anyways nursery rhymes and historical crimes were not
Kartik's forte. He simply walked over to the long forgotten dusty lamp trying
to remember whether he had forgotten about it or whether someone had forgotten
to tell him that they'd forgotten all about their precious old long forgotten
lamp. Kartik tried to wipe off the dirt off the lamp and it started smoking.
Out popped a genie. It said in a reverberating sound
slightly more audible than a faint rasp of a sore throat,
"From
the dark dank depths of the dinky lamp,
You have set
me free.
And to thank
thee,
I grant
wishes three!!"
Kartik, in his crisis management pose once again.. asked
"Am I dreaming?"
The genie rasped "No this is the truth.. and the truth
is stranger than fiction!!"
And then there was that yell of horror - the sound of Kartik
waking up and suddenly remembering where he was. He had dozed off reading his
favorite fantasy fictions
This work of art has taken inspiration from my dreams which
themselves have been inspired by some of my favourite and not so favourite books, movies and television series.
The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: Snuffles Jay, Participation Count: 01
lovely! and the new template is awesome, a bit dark though :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Ankita. Still playing around with the template.. need to make it lighter or brighter. :)
Deletecompletely hilarious....liked the way you used the CID jokes and the hindi adding a bit of crisp :)
ReplyDeleteATB for BAT
do drop in at:
- Don't Whine
Thanks Karan. ATB to you too
DeleteI love the idea of an Apparating Insulter! :D
ReplyDeleteDespite all the twists and turns, I wasn't too surprised when ACP Pradyuman and Daya showed up. I mean, this was exactly their kind of case :P
Loved the humour and the breathtaking pace of the story :)
Cheers!
Mixi (My BAT-37 Entry)
Thanks Mixi.. The insulter goes by the name of Wowbagger.. and is created by Douglas Adams..
DeleteEven though i had a hunch about the ending , by the way you moulded it i was still thrilled on reading the conclusion :) A full length imaginative piece is difficult to knit together , but you have done a good job ! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Maliny
DeleteLoved this post - I am a huge CID Fan - thouroughly enjoyed reading till the very end - Too good.
ReplyDeleteAll the very best for BAT.
Thanks Viyoma. Wishing you the very best for BAT as well.
DeleteHilarious
ReplyDeleteVery gripping story...and very visualistic too
ATB for BAT
-Snuffles Jay
Connect with Me
Thanks Snuffles
DeleteWell, I see a movie can be made of it. Daya, dekhna jara. Mujhe dar hai kaheen ye hollywood wale to is script ko churaane waale to nahi.
ReplyDeleteThumbs up dude.
Thanks Rio!! Movie aap direct karoge?
DeleteYo dude, sure. And you have received an award as pre launch of movie.
Deletehttp://likemymusings.blogspot.in/2013/03/the-unrelenting-quest-remembered.html?m=1
Thanks a lot Sirji.. But give me some time to give due justice to it
DeleteHad to read twice to understand it.
ReplyDeleteOnly because I don't watch CID :-)
Excellent language flow ...
And yes, Welcome to BAT community.
Thanks Aativas :) Even I don't watch CID but I do enjoy those PJs
Deletedamn am flabbergasted :P marvel work indeed :P
ReplyDeleteThanks Factfiction :)
DeleteSo I have read a comical kind of post too..:) :) The satirical CID and use of Hindi words are awesome. You killed the anger and gave happiness a revival to everybody. ATB for BAT 37...
ReplyDeleteThanks Vajra. Glad you liked it. ATB for BAT to you as well.
DeleteHilarious and awesome too!
ReplyDeleteNeeta
Thanks Neeta. glad you liked it!
Deleteat first i felt i have lost the track.. 'whats going on here' kind. but later it grabbed my attention and wow.. its a very imaginative piece. loved the way you carried every scene.. so funny and an awesome writeup. :)
ReplyDeletehope this interests you and i wish to see you there --> Nibble Promptly! - A Fun Creative Writing Contest