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Who killed Jack Robins

Posted by Shrikant on Sunday, March 03, 2013
This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 37; the thirty-seventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "Truth is stranger than fiction"

Kartik was sitting in the living room drowsily reading one of his favorite fantasy fictions.

The door opened with a thundering sound and there was a cackling laughter and there was a flash of green light. He was momentarily blinded and then all of his life passed before his eyes in slow motion. Was this real or a dream or was he dead. He wasn't so sure.

And then the flashing green light swung back into his face. It was a torch. It illuminated its owner. A person or thing with an over-elongated face with a stiff lower lip.

"You brainless prat" it said.

Surprised as much he was to this apparition as he was to its words, his mouth started to speak, but his brain decided it hadn't got anything to say yet and shut it again. His brain then started to contend with the problem of what his eyes told it they were looking at, but in doing so relinquished control of the mouth which promptly fell open again. Once more gathering up the jaw, his brain lost control of his left hand which then wandered around in an aimless fashion. For a second or so the brain tried to catch the left hand without letting go of the mouth and simultaneously tried to think about what was buried in the ice, which is probably why the legs went and Kartik dropped restfully to the ground.

And then the apparition did a small dance.. a victory dance of sorts. "YESS!! I have finally completed insulting 10000 people."

Just then another tall figure entered the room.. and pointing a rolled up newpaper at the elongated apparition, muttered something vaguely resembling "A wada keeda wada". There was another flash of green light as the torch flew out of the apparition's hand and landed on the floor where Kartik was still sprawled as his brain tried to relinquish its loss of control over the motor system of his body. About a fraction of a second later, the torch found its owner lying down beside it - motionless and dead.

The tall figure stepped forward, it was Shonali carrying her favorite tabloid, which she had just used to kill this over-elongated apparition who's expiry date had just passed. Shonali was cackling madly, "I killed Jack Robins"

Kartik's first sensations of hope and trepidation had instantly been overwhelmed by astonishment, and all sorts of thoughts were battling for the use of his vocal chords at this moment.

"Whh ...?" he said.

"Bu ... hu ... uh ..." he added.

"Ru ... ra ... wah ... who?" he managed finally to say and lapsed into a frantic kind of silence. He was feeling the effects of having not said anything to anybody for as long as he could remember.

"Don't give me that!" snapped Shonali and turned around to walk out of the half broken door.

"Shonali, wait.. I love you" Kartik exclaimed wondering whether he had actually said it.

"Kartik you are an idiot, stop talking to yourself on the phone," and proceeded towards the door.
Just then 2 suited figures blocked Shonali's way. One of them bent over 'Jack Robins' and said,

"Shaam ka suraj dhal chuka hai,
shaam ka suraj dhal chuka hai..
Oh my god sir, ye to mar chuka hai!"

And the other figure raising a finger, muttered:
Agle Vasant Mein Yeh Kali Jaroor Khilegi....
Agle Vasant Mein Yeh Kali Jaroor Khilegi....
Daya, Khuni Ko Us K Kartutko Ki Saja Jaroor Milegi..!!!!!

"Miss Shonali Mukherji, this is ACP Pradyuman and by the order of the Ministry of Madtown Midness, you are hereby under arrest for the murder of Jack Robins"

Both the figures caught Shonali by her arms and marched her away to their van. Kartik watched all this in his standard crisis management position - standing motionless with mouth wide open and eyes popping out letting it (the crisis or anything else that it may turn out to be) wash over him. But soon he realised, it was the woman he loved.

So he ran,
Like crazy he ran,
After the speeding van.
So he ran as fast as he could,
Hoping his legs would,
Take him to the speeding van.

But the van wasn't fast enough and he was gaining on it. And soon he was within reach. Kartik for no reason whatsoever decided to leap. But he mis-timed the jump and mis-aimed it as well and fell onto or into or upto nothingness wherever that was, falling down and down and down and down... and a little bit more downwards.

And then he stopped falling. There wasn't a sickening crash or a deafening splash that truncated his fall but a confusing phrrrrrrrrrrr as if it was a hippopotamus belching away to glory after having eaten to his heart's and fart's content.

And uske baad.... LAMBIII KHAMOSHI... for a moment nothing happened and for a minute or two after that nothing continued to happen. And there it lay...

A long forgotten dusty lamp. Right out of Sindbad the sailor or was that Aladdin.. anyways nursery rhymes and historical crimes were not Kartik's forte. He simply walked over to the long forgotten dusty lamp trying to remember whether he had forgotten about it or whether someone had forgotten to tell him that they'd forgotten all about their precious old long forgotten lamp. Kartik tried to wipe off the dirt off the lamp and it started smoking.

Out popped a genie. It said in a reverberating sound slightly more audible than a faint rasp of a sore throat,
"From the dark dank depths of the dinky lamp,

You have set me free.
And to thank thee,
I grant wishes three!!"

Kartik, in his crisis management pose once again.. asked "Am I dreaming?"

The genie rasped "No this is the truth.. and the truth is stranger than fiction!!"

And then there was that yell of horror - the sound of Kartik waking up and suddenly remembering where he was. He had dozed off reading his favorite fantasy fictions

This work of art has taken inspiration from my dreams which themselves have been inspired by some of my favourite and not so favourite books, movies and television series.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: Snuffles Jay, Participation Count: 01
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25 comments:

  1. Ankita March 3, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    lovely! and the new template is awesome, a bit dark though :)

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    1. ShrikantMarch 3, 2013 at 3:37 PM

      Thanks Ankita. Still playing around with the template.. need to make it lighter or brighter. :)

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  2. Karan ShahMarch 3, 2013 at 11:00 PM

    completely hilarious....liked the way you used the CID jokes and the hindi adding a bit of crisp :)
    ATB for BAT
    do drop in at:
    - Don't Whine

    ReplyDelete
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    1. ShrikantMarch 4, 2013 at 12:21 AM

      Thanks Karan. ATB to you too

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  3. MixiMarch 4, 2013 at 3:37 PM

    I love the idea of an Apparating Insulter! :D

    Despite all the twists and turns, I wasn't too surprised when ACP Pradyuman and Daya showed up. I mean, this was exactly their kind of case :P

    Loved the humour and the breathtaking pace of the story :)

    Cheers!
    Mixi (My BAT-37 Entry)

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    1. ShrikantMarch 4, 2013 at 10:11 PM

      Thanks Mixi.. The insulter goes by the name of Wowbagger.. and is created by Douglas Adams..

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  4. MalinyMarch 4, 2013 at 4:35 PM

    Even though i had a hunch about the ending , by the way you moulded it i was still thrilled on reading the conclusion :) A full length imaginative piece is difficult to knit together , but you have done a good job ! :)

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    1. ShrikantMarch 4, 2013 at 10:13 PM

      Thanks Maliny

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  5. ViyomaMarch 4, 2013 at 6:39 PM

    Loved this post - I am a huge CID Fan - thouroughly enjoyed reading till the very end - Too good.
    All the very best for BAT.

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    1. ShrikantMarch 4, 2013 at 10:12 PM

      Thanks Viyoma. Wishing you the very best for BAT as well.

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  6. Sherna JayMarch 4, 2013 at 11:13 PM

    Hilarious
    Very gripping story...and very visualistic too
    ATB for BAT

    -Snuffles Jay
    Connect with Me

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    1. ShrikantMarch 4, 2013 at 11:18 PM

      Thanks Snuffles

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  7. RioZeeMarch 5, 2013 at 10:22 AM

    Well, I see a movie can be made of it. Daya, dekhna jara. Mujhe dar hai kaheen ye hollywood wale to is script ko churaane waale to nahi.
    Thumbs up dude.

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    1. ShrikantMarch 5, 2013 at 10:07 PM

      Thanks Rio!! Movie aap direct karoge?

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    2. RioZeeMarch 6, 2013 at 12:21 PM

      Yo dude, sure. And you have received an award as pre launch of movie.

      http://likemymusings.blogspot.in/2013/03/the-unrelenting-quest-remembered.html?m=1

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    3. ShrikantMarch 9, 2013 at 12:40 PM

      Thanks a lot Sirji.. But give me some time to give due justice to it

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  8. aativasMarch 5, 2013 at 1:09 PM

    Had to read twice to understand it.
    Only because I don't watch CID :-)
    Excellent language flow ...
    And yes, Welcome to BAT community.

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    1. ShrikantMarch 5, 2013 at 10:07 PM

      Thanks Aativas :) Even I don't watch CID but I do enjoy those PJs

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  9. the factfictionMarch 6, 2013 at 1:23 AM

    damn am flabbergasted :P marvel work indeed :P

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    1. ShrikantMarch 9, 2013 at 12:26 PM

      Thanks Factfiction :)

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  10. VajraMarch 9, 2013 at 10:24 AM

    So I have read a comical kind of post too..:) :) The satirical CID and use of Hindi words are awesome. You killed the anger and gave happiness a revival to everybody. ATB for BAT 37...

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    1. ShrikantMarch 9, 2013 at 12:28 PM

      Thanks Vajra. Glad you liked it. ATB for BAT to you as well.

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  11. NeetaMarch 10, 2013 at 7:45 PM

    Hilarious and awesome too!

    Neeta

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    1. ShrikantMarch 10, 2013 at 8:03 PM

      Thanks Neeta. glad you liked it!

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  12. RatAugust 27, 2013 at 7:01 PM

    at first i felt i have lost the track.. 'whats going on here' kind. but later it grabbed my attention and wow.. its a very imaginative piece. loved the way you carried every scene.. so funny and an awesome writeup. :)

    hope this interests you and i wish to see you there --> Nibble Promptly! - A Fun Creative Writing Contest

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