Had taken this pic quite some time back. But I find it to be a fitting post to end the year.

Wishing you all a very Happy and Wonderful year 2013.

BTW this is also my first entry for the meme Skywatch

PS: This image is taken with a Nokia N82 and the a lil bit of touch up with Photoshop.

Sitting in a cold dark room, all alone...

...wondering about the grim silence and despair

Or of hope of the shining light that waits for you outside!!!

Vivek was into his third cup of coffee. It was almost an hour Vivek had been waiting and waiting for Sakshi to turn up for her regular visit to the cafe. She was late. Vivek was getting impatient. What was wrong with him? Why was he so desparate for getting that one glimpse of this particular lady? Why was his mind so full of thoughts for a stranger? Vivek had no idea what was happening to him as John Denver's serene voice slowly filled up the cafe.

You fill up my senses

Like a night in a forest

Like the mountains in springtime

Like a walk in the rain

Like a storm in the desert

Like a sleepy blue ocean

You fill up my senses

Come fill me again...

Vivek was about to lose hope when Sakshi walked in. The grace, the beauty, the charm all hit Vivek with the force of a hurricane. Had he not been resting his chin in his hand, his mouth would surely have dropped open. He was completely lost while gazing at her that he almost missed the gentlest of smiles that Sakshi gave him.

Vivek's heart almost skipped a beat. He barely managed to hide his sheepish dreamy look and force a smile and wave back to her. He followed her with his eyes as she walked over to a nearby table and put down her purse and sat down busy talking on the phone in barely audible whispers. There was a faint blush on her cheeks which Vivek could not attribute to makeup or the conversation that may have been going on with the person on the other side of the line. But Vivek was too busy gazing at Sakshi dreamily to even think about WHO could get sakshi to blush the way she did.

Vivek was lost so lost in his dreams that he did not notice that his coffee had finished and yet he raised the cup to his lips for another sip. But his senses returned as all he tasted was the dry cold rim of his empty coffee cup. There was a small clickety click near his feet. He leaned over the side of the table and saw the cap of a pen, Sakshi's pen. As he picked up the cap, he saw Sakshi turn around and flash one of her apologetic smiles. Vivek picked up the cap and walked over to Sakshi's table and handed the cap to her. Her fingers gently grazed Vivek's as the pen cap exchanged hands. She mouthed a quiet "Thanks!!" and "Sorry!!" while still stuck to the phone. His fingers still tingling because of THAT TOUCH, Vivek walked back and resumed his dreamy state.

It was atleast 10 minutes later that Vivek came back to his senses only to see that Sakshi was on her way out of the cafe. But he was feeling elated. Not sure why!! Was it the touch? or was it some other feeling going on inside him? He didn't know. So he just got up and walked up to the jukebox in the far corner and fiddled with the controls. And as one of his all time favorites started playing, he walked back to his table, smiling dreamily as the words from the song brought visions to his mind.

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

Read all the parts of Life is a Song

I've been waiting for a girl like you 

To come into my life

I've been waiting for a girl like you, 

A love that will survive

I've been waiting for someone new 

To make me feel alive

Yeah, waiting for a girl like you

To come into my life

And she walked into the cafe. She was elegance personified. Her satin soft hair shone in the dull light of the cafe. She walked across the floor , her sandals tippity-tapping gently while a faint drone of Acorn's Lonely drifting from her earphones temporarily shut off "Foreigner" playing on the cafe's juke box as she passed Vivek's table and laid her purse on a neighbouring table.

It had been about 4 weeks when Vivek had first seen her at the cafe and ever since had waited every single day for one glimpse of her every morning. As usual, he was in his day dreams about her with a cup of coffee in his hand when something hit his head and fell on the empty plate on the table with a TING. Puzzled he looked around and caught her eye. She looked at him and smiled apologetically. She got up and walked over to his table.

"I am so sorry. Was just fiddling with my pen and by mistake the cap flew out." "No, no, no problem at all. It just startled me a bit." replied Vivek in a voice that seemed caught in his throat. Then coming to his senses, understanding that this would be his one and only chance to talk to her, get to know her, he blurted, "By the way, I'm Vivek." She smiled, "I'm Sakshi." 

Just then her phone rang. She walked away talking on it. Seemed to be a really good friend on the other side of the line by the way Sakshi's face lit up while she was speaking on the phone. She was stuck to the phone while she worked away on her sandwich and apple muffin only pausing to sip coffee in between. Soon her plates were empty and she rose to leave. Vivek's eyes followed her movements and then she caught his eye. With a gentle flicker of fingers and a faint smile she bade Vivek farewell.

I've been waiting, waiting for you, 

ooh, I've been waiting, I've been waiting 

I've been waiting for a girl like you, I've been waiting 

Won't you come into my life?

Vivek returned back to what he was doing before her presence asked for his unwavering attention. He returned back to his book. The book that he was writing. Called Life is a Song

Read all the parts of Life is a Song

I do not blog about the latest electronic products in the market. I do not review the latest phones. I do not critique recently launched software. I do not create walkthroughs for the latest games. I do not give quick kill solutions for someone's tech problems. I do not rant about SEO, PageRank  and the likes. So I'm not a techie, right??

But I manage a site who's page rank is 7/10 (I ain't gonna mention it though.. so you can go ahead and say I'm bluffing). I use computing machines that have 64 GBs of RAM with more than 16 cores. Impressed.. just for your information, I have written scripts that have managed to get these machines to crunch data for hours before they could give a reasonable output. That makes me a techie, right??

WHOAMI?? CONFUSED!!!

Image Source: Google Images

PS: The image above is taken from TRON Legacy where Sam Flynn logs in to his father's "computer". The consoles shown in the movie are just glamorized versions of the Unix/Linux shell. The term whoami (The title of this post) is used to display the current user.

PPS: I use these kinda consoles daily :P But pity I do not have a Light Cycle

Image Source: Google Images

Gosh.. that was a tough task. But I'm done with the Ctrl-C Ctrl-V thingie. And now its time for the fresh Zaniness in Life to exhibit itself!!

So ready or not.. here I come.. better hide urself somewhere safe.. or atleast dig ur head in the sand!!! Cuz its gonna hit you with the full force of something large.. in your face.. something like this!!!!

I want to turn the whole thing upside down

I'll find the things they say just can't be found

I'll share this love I find with everyone

We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs

This world keeps spinning and there's no time to waste

Well it all keeps spinning spinning round and round and

Upside down

The world looks so much better the wrong side up!!!

Let the Insanity Prevail!!

Lyrics: Upside down by Jack Johnson.



Today I want to tell you a story. Its the story of Cinderella. Hmmm.. been there done that?? Ok, then tell me.. doesn't the story sound as the very pre-cursor of modern day Soaps. No?? Why not? It has the same elements of any soap!!

1. A sweet young girl with no mother (Now that is definitely Soap material)
2. A cruel stepmother and snobby stepsisters (More Soap)
3. Stepmother and stepsisters used to ill treat poor Cinderella (I'm already slipping)
4. And then a really big occasion - A Ball at the Palace.. and as expected Poor Cinderella left behind to do the dishes(Pure Soap)
5. By stroke of luck and magic Cinderella gets a beautiful dress.. a makeover.. and a spanking new ride to the Ball
6. Like all soaps.. kahani mein twist.. Cinderella has to be home by midnight or her magic will disappear
7. The Prince is charmed by Cinderella.
8. And as expected.. she rushes home at the stroke of midnight.. and like all big stars.. she has her own version of Wardrobe malfunction.. She leaves behind her slipper
9. Like in all soaps, the love birds cannot be together now.. there's got to be more epic-sodes.. so the Prince searches for the lady who will fit into this slipper.. but the slipper is highly customised.. made to order.. Must have been major trauma for the likes of Addidas and Nike... custom shoes for every sole!!!
10. And then enter Cinderella.. fresh out of the kitchen sink .. with soap in her hair and a soapy pan in her hand
11. The Slipper fits Cinderella's foot perfectly... the why on earth did it slip off in the first place??? Scripted Wardrobe Malfunction I would say!!
12. And they lived happily ever after.. now thats not very soapy.. in a Soap it would have taken years for this ending!!!

Now that's 100% Sabun-drella!!

c3l3br4t3:		Tum aaye toh... Hawaaon mein... Ek nashaa...
		Tum aaye toh... Fizaaon mein... Rang sa hai...
		Yeh rang saare... Hain bass tumhare...
		Aur kya... aur kya... aur kya...
k8key:		Stop flirting!!
c3l3br4t3:		Its not everyday I get to talk to such pretty ladies ;)
k8key:		hmmmm
c3l3br4t3:		So... been a really long time since we spoke last... Hows u??
k8key:		I'm good... how bout u?
c3l3br4t3:		Couldn't be better!! So good that I feel like singing...
		Dheere dheere se meri zindagi mein aana..
		Dheere dheere se dilko churana..
		Tumse pyaar hame hai kitna jaan-e-jaana..
		Tumse milkar tumko hai batana!!
k8key:		Stop it will you.. I am in no mood for all this
c3l3br4t3:		Arre.. kya hua? Didn't you like my songs??
k8key:		No yaar its not like that.. Just that I am not feeling up to it.
c3l3br4t3:		Bol na.. whats wrong?
k8key:		Life sucks.. thats what is wrong!!
c3l3br4t3:		And then Life says,"The feelings mutual babe" :P
k8key:		Ha ha ha.. very funny.. but you wont be so jovial if you were in my place
c3l3br4t3:		Sorry.. ab bolo bhi
k8key:		Arre kya bataoon.. nothing is going right in my life god knows what I was thinking when I took this job... pehle toh in this far off place.. away from friends and family and then they make me work like crazy.. Arre P1 issues aise paida karte hain as if its their birth right
c3l3br4t3:		P1 kya??
k8key:		Priority 1... Show stopping error.. have to slog until its gets resolved
c3l3br4t3:		O ok.. but thats part and parcel of work na.. uska kya karein
k8key:		Haan re.. but kya karoon.. cant concentrate on the work na.. Mom had called up.. and we fought... since then I've been really disturbed
c3l3br4t3:		Why did ya'll fight??
k8key:		kuch nahi re.. the usual... she says I dont have time for family and all and that I should look for something new closer to home
c3l3br4t3:		Arre toh thats right na.. even you wanted a shift na.. back home??
k8key:		Yeah.. but I'm beginning to like this freedom also don't have to keep updating Mom when I'm late.. can just lie that I'm already home
c3l3br4t3:		You cant have everything na
k8key:		Tru.. and now I'm feeling bad.. cuz I spoke to Mom harshly, I told her to stop blackmailing me emotionally... brb
-----------------------------------------------------
k8key:		Sorry.. got a call
c3l3br4t3:		Chal jhoothi... I can hear tears flowing
k8key:		:)
c3l3br4t3:		Stop it yaar.. no use crying like this.. Just call up Mom and say sorry
k8key:		I know.. will call her in the morning
c3l3br4t3:		hmmm.. Moms are always understanding.. she will forgive you
k8key:		But will someone else be as understanding??
c3l3br4t3:		who someone else??
k8key:		Someone.. because of whom this one is unhappy.. just because  that one is ignoring this one
c3l3br4t3:		Who are you talking about? And if someone ignores you, just let go. No use moping bout it. Only you'll be losing sleep over it, while the other person is carefree. So its you who lose both ways. If the other person values your friendship then he/she will come back. Else.. good riddance!!!
k8key:		Arre chod na.. I keep getting these madness fits all the time you say.. whats new in your life.. still doing usability testing of games in old job??
c3l3br4t3:		hahahaha you remember that??
k8key:		Ofcourse.. You loved your job didn't you? Oh I wish I could be like you
c3l3br4t3:		Dont even think bout it.. The truth is.. I've been laid off.. thanks to recession, no new projects.. and old ones going away.. So company cant afford me
k8key:		Oh.. I'm so sorry.. I didnt know you were laid off
c3l3br4t3:		arre chillax babe... bade bade logon k saath choti choti baatein hoti rehti hain
k8key:		toh.. what else? Hows everyone at home?
c3l3br4t3:		Theek thaak
k8key:		what do u mean theek thaak?? You usually said "ekdum massst"
c3l3br4t3:		arre kuch nahi yaar.. Just came to know that Dad recently got a rare nerve disorder because of which he can see only with the right halves of both eyes
k8key:		Dude I dont understand... You are going thru so much and still you can be so jovial!!
c3l3br4t3:		Cuz I live for the moment... I met you right now.. So am happy bout it... I'm celebrating it.. I consider every moment of life as a festival.. I celebrate it.. and most of all... I celebrate Myself

CCD - not Cathode Coupled Device.. thats in digicams... not Cafe Coffee Day.. thats where you're supposed to get coffee... This CCD is Compulsive Capitalization Disorder a latest anomaly found in the working population of the world

Symptoms:
Pain in the smallest finger, aka pinky... not "Pinky aunty" due to constant impact against the left shift key. This anomaly is also observed in the right Pinky of certain Human ANOMALIES.
Any literature typed by such affected individuals is characterized by regular or Irregular (however you may want to view it) appearance of capitalized alphabets.

Self Diagnosis:
Type this paragraph a couple of times on your PC. If it looks exactly like this then you might be normal or you might have some "visual defects".. anyways those ailments are not subject of this paper.. might deal with them some other time.

Scenario 2
Type This Paragraph A Couple Of Times On Your Pc. If It Looks Like This Then You Are In The Initial Stages Of This Disorder. Take some time out, go out with your friends, meet them in person rather than on IM and behold you are normal again.

Scenario 3
TyPe ThIs PaRaGrApH A CoUpLe Of TiMeS On YoUr Pc. If It LoOkS LiKe ThIs ThEn YoU ArE ReAcHiNg ThE PeAk Of AfFlIcTiOn. YoU HaVe LoSt CoNtRoL OvEr YoUr BeLoVeD PiNkY. Tie that pinky someplace safe and you should be good to go.

Scenario 4
TYPE THIS PARAGRAPH A COUPLE OF TIMES ON YOUR PC. IF IT LOOKS LIKE THIS THEN YOU HAVE REACHED THE FINAL STAGE OF THIS DISEASE. YOUR PINKY IS IN LOCKDOWN. GIVE UP ALL MOH-MAYA AND TAKE SANYAAS.

Scenario 5
T y p e t h I s p a r a g r a p h a c o u p l e o f t I m e s o n y o u r p c . I f I t l o o k s l I k e t h I s t h e n y o u r C C D h a s s p r e a d a n d I n f e c t e d y o u r r I g h t t h u m b a s w e l l . Refer to scenario 3 for more details.

Scenario 6
Sadgfasgdfaefvscrafsdgsacdfsadsdchgsdchsgbd. Hey you are sleeping on the left side of your keyboard. Stop reading these blogs in the middle of the night. They are for your reference during work hours only.

BTW How's Pinky Aunty?? ;)

No... I am not thinking of writing a book John Grisham style...nor am I am trying to have a Gyaan Sharing session.. or may be I am...
"A consultant (from the Latin consultare means "to discuss" from which we also derive words such as consul and counsel) is a professional who provides advice in a particular area of expertise."
What does a consultant do.. of course.. you consult him for stuff...

CONSULT = CON + INSULT

going by this equation all a consultant would be doing is

• CON you by stating that you face certain problems that you never knew you faced
• then INSULT you by calling you a failure for not having foreseen these not so perceptible problems.

That concludes my funda # 420

Arz kiya hai

Piye toh piye kaise...bina aapke...

Chadti nahin koi bhi (sharaab) bina aapke...

Piye toh piye kaise...haaeeey bina aapke...

Chadti nahin koi bhi...bina aapke...

Kaise kahun bina tere Whisky bhi yeh kya hogi..

Kaise kahun bina tere Whisky bhi yeh kya hogi..

Jaise koi sazaa koi kadwi dawaa hogi...

maine kiya hai.. yeh faisla...peena nahin hai tere binaaaa...

Piye toh piye kaise...bina aapke...

Chadti nahin koi bhi... bina aapke...

Isi baat par ek aur jaam ho jaye?? ;)

HUH!!! What's that?? What do I mean by that?

Listen to this.. I mean read this.. hee hee

Keh de tu haan to zindagii

CHAIN (read leash) se chhoot k hasegi

MOTI (common doggie name) honge MOTI raho mein

BOW WOW WOW WOW....

Love songs Doggie Style

Wonder what they're going to think up next!!!

Probably a romantic comedy featuring pets of famous politicians.. but kahani mein twist... dog meets cat.. falls in love.. run around bushes singing above song... cut 2... flash back... cat previously engaged to elephant but groom rejected kyunki "Ladke k daat dikhte hain" (purana PJ)... flash forward... elephant returns as a psycho.. haunts cat and dog... then the evident fight scene between hero (dog) and villain(elephant).. dog beaten badly.. but the THODI MEETHI THODI CATTY calls of his babe rejuvinate him and he manages to tie the elephant's trunk in a knot and the elephant suffocates to death... all seems to be heading to a happy ending.. but the kahani mein naya twist... elephant returns again.. this time as a ghost... haunts cat and dog... Now what... Enter GHOST BUSTERS.. try to whisk away elephant.. get cat and dog by mistake.. but picture already 3 hours long.. most time wasted in showing elephant ki chaal, with a 15 min uncut shot showing the villain's backside as he walked.. walked.. walked.. u get the point...

Anyway, cat and dog live happily ever after wherever the Ghost Busters put them.. with elephant free to haunt anyone he likes.. so he happy.. so he too lived Heavily...oops happily ever after

Guaranteed O-Sucker Award for this story!!!

Damn this could have beed a separate post... somebody hit CTRL Z!!!!

Its been quite some time since I posted some quality crap... had been thinking about a good topic. But couldn't zero-in on anything worthwhile.

Contemplated on the Big Bang.. but realised that there are too many theories supporting or opposing that poor little theory.. so thought that I'd give good ol' Einstein some more time to Rest In Peas (his grave is covered with pea vines I think.. or may be its the Farmville hangover)

Then reached out to more contemporary people... Deepak Chopra, to be precise, and his Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. Well, I did give it a serious thought, especially to the Law of Least Effort - which in general says "Don't do anything.. things will sort themselves... just as the grass grows by itself without any interference from anyone (weeds more so)". So, in the end didn't put much effort into it and let Mr. Chopra sort himself all by himself.. after all he's got a lot of load on himself with all those $2500 per person per 3 hour session to conduct.

Oh!! speaking of Deepak Chopra... have you realised what would happen if Oprah Winfrey decided to marry him one fine day?? Ummm, nothing special for Deepak though.. but Oprah would then be known as Oprah Chopra... ahhhh.. I sense a song coming up in some Bollywood film in the near or far future..."Oprah Chopra Chopra, Mere dil ka yeh Jhopda..."

And speaking of Spiritual Laws.. most of us must have heard wise elders mouth the adage "Neki kar.. dariya mein daal". Last night knowledge dawned upon me that in the early days people needed to do "Neki" and put it in "Dariya".. these days we use the loo... So I think its time to reword that old adage from "Neki kar.. dariya mein daal" to just "FLUSH"... means the same.. oh yeah!! it could also replace "Kiye karaye par paani faerna"

Moving on to more knowledge from the Wise Old Elders... "Karm karo.. phal ki chinta mat karo" comes to my mind. Perfect excuse for the modern employee... do some work.. whether you attain your target or not isn't important... or better still (metaphorically speaking) "shoot the arrow first and then call whatever you hit as your target".

The previous paragraph reminds me of our great scientists at ISRO and their dear little baby.. the Chandrayaan.. Some weeks back read the news "Chandrayaan lost... ISRO says mission successful" - KARM KARO.. PHAL KI CHINTA MAT KARO

Imagine... watching Kaka dodging Wayne Rooney and the going on to score a fantabulous goal 3 times in a row right in front of your eyes... Live in JAPAN... in the 2018 world cup

A small catch here..

1. Not sure whether we'd be able to afford going to Japan let alone getting tickets!!
2. Not sure whether Kaka and Rooney lasting that long!!
3. Not sure whether Japan can host 2018 World cup!!

But whoever the player... wherever the match.. imagine watching it live in your drawing room as if it were happening there.. as if you could reach out and do a High Five with the players..

That's the magic of 3D TV

Imagine... watching your dream car.. Turbocharged V8 engine producing more than 600bhp.. going by the name of Ferrari F70. With its monstrously wonderful engine left open to you.. Imagine feeling that you could reach out and caress that shiny red coat of paint.. feeling that you could admire each and every inch of the wonderful berlinetta with your eyes in any angle you please!!

That's the magic of 3D TV

But what about every day TV..

Would you want to watch those shady politicians prancing around with the mouthful of lies...

Would you want to watch the shadier news presenters who are more interested in TRPs than whether people are really interested in their version of truth regarding "Kissa Kursi Ka" or "Kya Alien bhi doodh peete hain"...

Would you want to watch that angry old woman of a Saasu.. or the ever conniving sister in law.. or the bholi bhali new bride or whatever...

Would you? would you?? bolo bolo!!

DEFINITELY NOT... unless you could reach in to the 3D scene and deliver ONE TIGHT SLAP to these guys and make them shut up for good!!

That should be the Magic of 3D TV!!

Hmmm.. reminds me of Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Apni Bellatrix aunty looking sho cute in the movie!!) where he broadcasts a bar of chocolate into a television where you could reach in and pull out the bar of chocolate.. YUMMY!!

That should be the Magic of 3D TV!!

Epilogue: Had been to a 3D movie.. all decked up with a nice pair of 3D glasses and shoe laces to match.. but someone please tell me how do I fit in this pair of 3D with an existing pair of numbered glasses?? Or does anyone know an optician specialising in 3D numbered glasses..

Magic of 3D??

Yawwwwn.. another boring lecture..another boring presentation... yawwwwwwn... struggling to keep my eyes open.

What was it again?? Porter's 5 Force Model... Porter's 5 Force Model to analyse business environment.. Porter's 5 Force Model for solving problems faced by industry..

Porter's 5 forces pulling... me.. into deeeeeeep sleeeeep... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..

To give this blog a kickstart, I shall be importing a few posts from my older blog. Why? Just cuz those posts were too good to put them in the attic. And re-reading them brings back a smile to my face :)
Damn I was so funny back then!!!

Welcome to my blog. I was going to call it CrapStation and moniker myself as the CrapMeister. But it was sounding too cliched.And I did not want to be like a certain Mr Bhatak and rue for the rest of my life about numerous mistakes of my life.

There are times when life throws you a lemon,

 you don't always want to make lemonade...

 but to ask for salt and tequila!! 

There are times when you see the clock ticking away... 

showing you its middle finger!!!

There are times when someone asks you,

 "Are you CRAZY!!" 

and you want to answer

 "Yeah!! A bit!!"

What would you say in such times... 

I'd say Life is Zany!!!

P.S.: I know this is not an elaborate or artistic (or whatever you may want to call it) description of a blog. But who cares!!!