Pearls on the cob

A twisted Raintree shot at the Mahalaxmi Racecourse, Mumbai.

This is my entry for Skywatch Friday

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This is RJ Shrikant, bringing to you hul-CUT, our show for movie fanatics where we spoil the fun on the latest movies. In today's show we're going to squeal about Talaash - The sleep you're without. Absolutely non-sense title with even a more non-sensical plot.

A famous or not so famous or may be infamous actor Whatchumaycallhim (What-chu-may-call-him for tubelight peoples) dies in a mysterious car accident. No indications of whether it was suicide or homicide. 

Only thing this so called suicide

or homicide

or whatever side

happened when

this actor's car went to one side

and drowned in the

creek that lay beside

And in comes Inspector Durjan. But nothing so great about this person, other than the fact that he is an insomniac. And which is a good thing cuz a major portion of this movie is shot in the red light district.

Raat mein hi jaagte hain

Yeh gunaahon ke ghar

Inki raahein khole baahein

Jo bhi aaye idhar

Aa haa...

yeh hai insomnia ka rasta!!!

 kyunki

Aati nahi aati nahi

Letataa hoon par neend

Aati nahi aati nahi

Aati nahi aati nahi

Woh aati nahi

And on the other hand this Inspector has a wife. Nothing surprising about this other than the fact that she is an exact opposite. She looks as if...

Jaage hain der tak hamein

kuch der sone do

Thodi si raat aur hai

Subah to hone do 

Coming back to Daaku Durjan Singh oops Inspector Durjan. This great or not so great Inspector is just whiling away his time as he can't get any serious leads until...

A gaudily dressed lady of the night walks up to his car and asks him if he's looking for something. In his classic - naak band and sar mein dard look - Durjan asks her, "What's your name?"

"Rosie" says Rosie. Did you realise, that your name is one thing that belongs to you but others use it more  than you.

"Well I'm really not interested in getting cozy with Rosie, so please move along", said Durjan

As she moves along, she drops a couple of hints about the case he's working on.Some of them are damp squibs and turn out to be dead ends while some do yield fruitful results.

In the meanwhile, When Mr. Durjan finds time to return home, finds that his wife has been awake and not had her sleeping pills. So they have a fight.

Yeh ladka hai alla kaisa hai deewana

Kitna mushkil hai tauba isko samajhaana

K dheere dheere night se day hota hai

And jyaada sote sote weight badta hai (And then Heart Attack) 

 Ek ladki ghar se bhaagi si

soti raaton mein jaagi si

sleeping pill se bhati woh

aur soti nahi woh

tumhi kaho yeh koi baat hai!!

After the fight, Durjan decides that it's time to get cozy with Rosie and goes searching for her. And instead she pops in to his car while his cronies are staring suspiciously from the side lines. After all this is a suicide/homicide case (everything is to the side). She takes him for a ride around town showing him her secret place where she hides when she's been naughty and then she takes him to a shady looking hotel and gives him another set of tips. And then instead of getting cozy, she just sang him a lullaby.

So ja jaaneman tu hi mera dil

band ho rahe tere naina

Aankhon mein neend hai

tan mein bhi susti

Aankhein band kar lo

aur khwabon mein ho gum

sleepy ho tum

par sote na kyun

So ja

And.. All fall down... Zzzzz goes Inspector Durjan.

In the morning, he remembers all the tips that Rosie gave him but promptly forgets to tip the room service as he rushes out to uncover a blackmail racket in which the blackmailer has been killed by the blackmailee so to say. And like all pot boiler soaps, another blackmailer discovers the money to be made in the business and takes his place and gets killed once more by the blackmailee. Inspector Durjan arrests the blackmailee for all his black deeds and on his way to the police station meets with an accident very much like the one in the beginning of the movie in which Inspector Durjan narrowly misses his ticket to the upper worlds thanks to Rosie who disappears into thin air singing 

Gumnaam hai koi,

badnaam hai koi,

Kisko khabar

kaun hoon mein

Anjaan hai koi

Getting a bit curious, Inspector Durjan goes to that secret place of Rosie's where she used to go when she'd been naughty. There's a cat sitting there with an empty icecream cup by her side. She says MEOW to Durjan pawing at him and then at the ground. Without thinking twice, Durjan digs up the entire place. But finds nothing except a note that reads 

Mera naam chinchinchu

chinchinchu baba chinchinchu

ek bhootni mein toh hoon

chalo mister

good bye to you

You were listening to hul-CUT with RJ Shrikant

Until next time keep listening to RADIO SHITTYYYY

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